Brain Dump Sunday for the INFP

Happy Sunday Friends!

Weekends are usually hard for me in certain aspects. Prime example? I've started this post about 18 times because I don't know which direction I want it to go. I have a million thoughts rolling around in my head, with no idea which way to go... so, I'm just going to write. I apologize ahead of time if this post is everywhere... after all, that's essentially how my brain works.

I have a love-hate relationship with weekends. I love them because I find immense joy getting up early int he morning while Nate and Ella (and sometimes Carson when he's here) are still asleep and I can have my morning pop (shut up, don't judge) after I take my meds, and I can let my creativity flow. Mornings, when I'm not pressured are my most productive time. That's when my creative side is at its best. That first hour or so is absolutely glorious. Then, well, then all hell breaks loose as soon as either someone wakes up, or my productive/creative side decides it's had enough. Whichever comes first.

I love dreaming up new ideas of ways to do things... new adventures I can go on... new projects I could play around with in Photoshop or Illustrator... new things I can create with my camera... new business adventures I could maybe go down... new ways to budget our money... new ways and things to use in my planner... new ways I can figure out how to keep up with stuff around the house... just really, all sorts of new and exciting things. My mind races at the thought of "What can I think up next?"

I can't tell you how many times I've created new blogs, gone down new business adventures, spent oodles of money on getting things set up and ready to go, ordered all sorts of stuff... only to get bored with it, or not know which direction to go, or not want to burden anyone with selling or offering services or what not. I have SO MUCH TROUBLE finishing something once I've started it. My brain just doesn't work that way, and it truly drives me crazy.

In a way to search for answers, I decided I would take one of those MBTI personality tests online. I didn't take the real test, but I've taken many online and I consistently get the same result.

I am an INFP-T. 

Some of you are lost, I know, but those that know what I'm talking about, will understand.

I've done some significant research on the average INFP and the stuff I've come across is alarming at how close it hits to home. 

• Strengths and Weaknesses
• Career Paths
• Workplace Habits
• Conclusion

More on the whole INFP stuff another time. It's so so so very interesting!! If you clicked on those links, you'd understand a bit about my personality and why I operate the way I do. 

I'm not going to lie, it sucks being all over the place. I know everyone has their own struggles, but it's so damn hard to stay focused some days, and to actually get something done. 

See, this post was EVERYWHERE, with no closure whatsoever. 

And I guess, that's okay... it's me, it's how I roll. 

Happy Sunday, Friends!

Go Packers!

-Krystle

Finding Krystle

I think about this so often... I want to come out here and just write, but I never do, because the more I think about it, the more I think about what I want to write about, the more I think about this or that... the more overwhelming it becomes... and then I just throw in the towel and tell myself I'll do it another day.

Guess what?

That other day doesn't ever usually arrive. Hence my first post on 8/1... I had high hopes and desires to be back here SOON, as in within a few days of that post to actually knock out a few posts, within a few day span, to you know, interest readers (even though I know that the likelihood of anyone finding this is slim to none... still, a girl can pretend) and make them want to come back for more.

I struggle with this a lot. I get all these big gigantic hopes, dreams, aspirations, and big fun exciting thoughts and ideas that are just so incredible and I'm going to do this and that and this and that, and start here and yada yada yada... and then, it just all of a sudden comes to a screeching halt. I'm so good at this, it's horrible and draining. Mentally exhausting.

I love to write. Love it. But, I psych myself up so much that I'm going to do so much of this or that, or write about this or that... that I overthink the entire thing and my internal thought process literally just crashes. Completely shuts down. It shuts down until about a week later when I'm starting to grasp at what I was thinking about before... and then the entire process repeats... I get overwhelmed and crash.

I do that with so much of my life.

I start school... go gung-ho for a few weeks... and then I get bored with it, or forget why I was so passionate about it in the first place... and it all comes to a stop.

I get this big extravagant idea that I'm going to create posters and stuff and sell them on Etsy. I do that for a while and then I lose my focus and splat. Bored. Then each order feels like a chore. And that's not what I want.

I love doing things that I know are going to help people. I wish there was a way for me to do stuff for others that required I not be paid for it. Wait, that didn't come outright. I say that because I often do better when I don't have any expectations in front of me. I do better when I know someone isn't paying me to do something - because then it feels like I have to live up to someone else's expectations. Whereas if I am not getting paid, for one, I feel better about what I'm doing, and two, I can truly feel my creativity flowing. I WANT to do more, I WANT to impress someone, I WANT to continue what I'm doing because I KNOW they're going to appreciate exactly what I'm doing for them... ESPECIALLY if they don't have to pay for it.

Whyyyyyyy couldn't I win the lottery so I don't ever have to charge anyone for anything?

Anyway, this is such a rambling post... I know... a million things combined in one... but, it's been kind of a brain dump and I guess, well... Finding Krystle... I guess that's the whole purpose of having this blog... I need to write whatever I need to write, in order to find the Krystle that I want to find.

More soon, friends... more soon... eh!  (Cross your fingers it's not 5-6 weeks again like the last time).

Keep Smiling!
 - Krystle

Welcome!

Blogging...

Man! It's been a long time. Considering I started my first blog some 13 years ago, and haven't blogged consistently since 2010-2011... this is like a... I don't even know.

Regardless, here I am... in the flesh, er, behind the computer... hammering out a blog post in 2019.

Truth be told, I love writing... I absolutely love it. It's relaxing, it creates all these thoughts and feelings and desires. Brings them all to the surface and makes you think about the things you don't usually think about. For me, it brings out a creative side of me that I love and appreciate, and absolutely do not use enough of.

One of my most favorite things when I blogged before was having the ability to go back and read from years prior about what was going on. It was almost like a Facebook of sorts, I suppose... but it was my writing and my thoughts. It was however I was feeling on that given day. Some posts were positive and had a point, and some were definitely NOT positive, and when you'd get to the end of the post, you'd ask yourself what you just read because there was no story, no point, no method to my writing madness...

But that's what I loved. I could do that, and write whatever I wanted, however I felt that day. I loved reading other blogs too, you get to know these people as if it's in real life... you learn about their kids, their spouses, their trials and struggles, the good moments, everything... you get to know them, and you can share in their joy, and pain. Now that I have a daughter, I wish I would have started back blogging when she was born... man, would I have stories. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda... but I didn't... and I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Thankfully Facebook was able to capture most of it.

Anyway, I know this is my first post - I truly don't know exactly what path I'm going to go down with this blog... and that's actually okay. I have so much to write about, so much to just get out. This blog I honestly think is just going to be a space where I can spew whatever I want to, any given day. I may write daily, or once a week... it just depends what's going on.

August 1st... it's already August... I hope you're all enjoying summer and your friends and family!

Be back soon!
Krystle